s/p oscars

so, kathryn bigelow won for best director.  there's something i should be so excited about.  i wanted to do something like that once.  and, it is a landmark.  but, here i am, sitting at home, wondering what & how for my next step - i typed stop.  i feel like it's a stop.  i know it's one tiny step at a time, and i did laps this am & went to brunch @ mayer & roseann's and dressed up for julia's recital.  i did sign up for scrabble and the cruise/info thing.  and, i looked at match.com to see about signing up.  so, i'm taking some baby step action.  i'm frustrated that i have no immediate gratification.  and, i want to have a plan.  how do i make my exciting life start?  it would be so nice to have someone be in charge and follow their steps or make it about them.  part of me wants to call robby and make it about him.  i'm not sure i want to see him again, regardless of what he thinks or wanted.  but, i want what i think he has, which is an exciting life with lots of opportunities to meet interesting people and learn about new things.  and, it was fun to have the time with him.  maybe i should email paul and ask how he does it, his interesting life.  but, also about robby, is it wrong/right/what i want to call or be in touch with him?  is that loop closed?  i feel like it is, but there's something gnawing.  maybe it's wanting more of similar experiences or any experiences.  that would be very good.  so, i'm back to the beginning.  how?  match is not the only answer, but could it be an answer?  in the meantime, find a class.